Hiding in the Mess

We have each arrived at this moment in time with our own individual versions of mess.

Your story may look different than mine in the details, but what I have found from research and years of seeking perfection and acceptance is that we all live in some kind of mess. And more often than not, we try to hide it and take care of it on our own. Why? Why do we do this?

I’m guilty of hiding my mess time and time again. Trying to clean it up and “fix” it. Make it look good from the outside. And can I tell you something? It’s exhausting. It’s pointless. And more than that, it alienates those around us who have their own messes. They can’t be vulnerable with us. They can’t be real. And as a result, we’re surrounded by people who don’t really know us—people we don’t really know, either. And our lives are void of deep connections, leaving us lonely, isolated, and ashamed.

In his book, Rejection, James R. Sherman says, “You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending.”

We can choose to accept and own our part of the messes we have made. We can confidently embrace who we are and who we were created to be without the constant voice of comparison telling us we aren’t good enough.

The most beautiful part of owning your mess is that when you do, you invite others to do the same.

That’s how community is built—through all our beautiful messes.

A Beautiful Mess?

How can we know when something is a beautiful mess or if it’s just…a mess?

Because the harsh truth is, everything on this earth is going to always be a little messy. But we have to look at our lives and our relationships and decide if there is something within that mess that is worth saving. Is your marriage messy because it contains two imperfect people with their own history of heartbreak, trauma, and pain that have come together and decided to walk through the rest of their days together? Or is that relationship messy because it’s filled with one person always giving and the other taking or because one person is always inflicting pain on the other?

Our relationships are always going to be messy because we’re flawed. Our lives, our relationships, our experiences are going to always be a far cry from the flawless, overly-brightened pictures we see on Instagram influencer’s grids (and if they were honest—their life looks nothing like their Instagram, either).

We can be selfish. We can say hurtful things. And we can make bad choices. But if we are willing to see those places where we screwed up or see those places where we tried to make things better and failed, then we create the space to make things right again. That mess made isn’t the symptom of decay. Instead, it’s evidence of life, of growth, and of the different ways you’ve worked to fight for your relationship- romantic or otherwise. At the end of the day, if our ultimate goal is to build one another up rather than push them down to make ourselves feel better, we’ve got something beautiful. When both parties are willing to see and own up to the mess, own up to where they went wrong, and then come together to make things right and move forward, that mess becomes a beautiful story of love, redemption, and second chances.

• What mess do you need to protect in your life?

• What mess is worth elevating from a plain old mess into a beautiful mess?

• Is it your relationship with your mom? Your dad? A grandparent? A friend?

• Is it your relationship with yourself?

Remember, friend —you are in charge of your messes. You choose how messy they are. You choose what they become…whether you were the one who created them or not.

You Are a Work of Art

“For we are made in God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” 

I am God’s workmanship- this means I am His work of art, His masterpiece! My salvation is something only God can do! His powerful work in me- His creative work.

So let me ask you something….If God considers us works of art, why would we ever treat ourselves (or others) with disrespect or as inferior ‘artwork’? 

What does being a ‘work of art’ mean to you?

How does this make you feel about the God who created….you??

You are His treasure. His jewel. 

You are PERFECT to Him. Yes…PERFECT. When is the last time you felt even close to perfect?? Me?? It’s been a hot minute…or more accurately, maybe NEVER… 

Perfect, no…but I do feel special. I feel most special when I remember I have a gift God created ONLY IN ME to share with others. And you do too, friend. He made you uniquely equipped to serve and bless others in a way no one else on this earth can. Only You. 

• Do you know what this gifting is?

• Ask God to re veal His gift(s) to you!

• Make a list of possibilities- gifts you see in yourself- go nuts! No one is there judging you, girl! Own it! ;)

• Ask God to show you how He would have you use these gifts in your world. 

Go out today knowing that you are a special human…After all,  “you are the light of the world” Matthew 5:14